


The Taste of Love

by PatchworkIdeas



Series: WinterFRE 2020 [8]
Category: The Hobbit - All Media Types
Genre: And sometimes things work out anyway, Light Angst, M/M, Sometimes life gets in the way
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-14
Updated: 2020-02-14
Packaged: 2021-02-28 03:54:14
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 694
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22637956
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PatchworkIdeas/pseuds/PatchworkIdeas
Summary: Fili would always support Kili's passions and dreams. Even if this one killed him inside.
Relationships: Fíli/Kíli (Tolkien)
Series: WinterFRE 2020 [8]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1604650
Comments: 7
Kudos: 32
Collections: GatheringFiKi - Winter FRE 2020





	The Taste of Love

**Author's Note:**

> Written for Prompt Nr.70:  
> If you love someone, let them go

Fili didn't see it coming. Nobody did.  
Kili always loved a lot of things – but he usually dropped them just as fast. Always jumping from hobby to hobby, activity to activity. Passionate, but without direction.

Fili always supported him in this, even if their parents occasionally despaired over courses taken and forgotten, skills gained, honed and then never used.  
Kili needed new things to learn like a fish needed water.

So maybe it wasn’t that strange after all, Fili thought while he helped his brother pack.

Kili loved to learn – and where better than at college?

No one had expected the scholarship, to be honest.  
Kili wasn’t a slouch in school – their parents insisted that he kept his grades up if he wanted to keep doing all his hobbies. Ever since he could remember, Fili sat down with his brother, helped him with homework, helped him find fun ways to remember boring information and filled in the gaps where Kili’s attention had wandered during class.  
That didn't change when Fili graduated and started his apprenticeship with a local mechanic – one that was willing to also teach him how to bend metal to his will, create new things, instead of just repairing old ones.

But it would change now, and Fili worried.  
And not just about Kili’s grades.

Kili insisted he hadn’t applied to the college, must have been scouted or something, but that didn’t change that the University was on the other side of the country, far, far away. They wouldn’t be able to visit, not really.

Fili wouldn't be able to visit, not while he was busy with his own apprenticeship.

Somehow, Fili always thought they would move out together, would build something where they could both thrive.  
The looks they more and more often shared, the lingering touches, something growing between them, naturally, as sure and clear as breathing was.  
Or at least, Fili had thought so.  
They hadn’t talked about it.  
Maybe Fili should have insisted.

Too little, too late.  
Kili had made his choice, had chosen to leave, to pursue a future of his own.  
Without Fili.

(He asked, the night after Kili informed his family of his plans, of accepting the scholarship. He asked if Kili wanted him to come along, to build a future together there. Maybe he could find a different apprenticeship.  
Kili looked at him for a long moment, eyes inscrutable, unreadable.  
“No.” Short and clear, nothing more to be said.  
Fili let it drop, helped Kili pack his things and tried to swallow the bile in his throat, tasting the ashes of a future lost.)

It was only after Kili was lost amidst the masses of the airport, long but too short hug already nothing but a memory, after the drive home, after he entered his room - silent, cold, dark - that Fili let himself break, let himself feel the pain, the loss, the defeat.  
For a long time, love would taste like salty tears and raw throats and letting his own happiness go for the sake of his brother's.

-

An envelope, off white, expensive paper.  
Thick.  
His name on the front and on the back – Kili’s.

Fili rips open the envelope pulling out pages after pages of diagrams and sketches, ideas worked out to perfection, until there - the actual letter.  
It's written in ink, each word carefully calligraphed, attention and love poured in.  
The end makes his knees collapse beneath him, relief and hope and anticipation pouring into his veins and overflowing.

“I’ve build a future for us both, if you want it. One where we can be truly partners, on equal footing. I’m ready if you are.”

He takes a closer look at the rest of the papers – plans for metal works, inventions, things they can build together, pooling their combined skills.  
Contracts, pages long and carefully worded, in both their names, just waiting for him to sign.  
A shop, a life, a flat above, all theirs.  
A flight ticket. One way.

-

A leap of faith.

-

Love might taste like salt, but to Fili, there is nothing sweeter than kissing the tears of joy off his brothers face when they are finally united again.

**Author's Note:**

>  _"If you love somebody, let them go, for if they return, they were always yours. And if they don't, they never were."_  
>  -Khalil Gibran


End file.
